Wednesday, October 30, 2013
15 Lies You’ve All Told Before, During or After s*x
s*x can be one of
the most intimate
and bonding experiences two people can have … but it can also be a
time fraught with uncertainty, irritation and … LIES! C’mon, we’ve all
lied occasionally about, during, or after s*x. “Was it good for you?”
can really only be followed by, “Of course it was, honey,” unless
you want to break up. If it wasn’t, bring it up later (gently) in the
therapist’s office. Here’s 15 ways we lie about s*x.
1. Being on birth control. Sadly, women do lie about birth control
sometimes. One woman confesses to telling her husband she is NOT
on birth control even though she is. They mutually decided to have a
baby, but after they hit financial and relationship problems, she
decided it wouldn’t be a good idea. But when she tried to bring up
going back on bc again, she says she “knows he’ll be mad and upset
and think we’re breaking up or something.”
2. Not being on birth control. Probably the most dangerous s*x
lie a woman can tell — secretly trying to get yourself impregnated
is never a good idea. Whether it’s to hold a relationship together, to
twist a proposal out of a guy, or to just have a baby cause you’re
ready and he’s not — STEER CLEAR of this major lie!
3. Of course I’m clean. New couples should have STD talks with
each other — but usually it takes the form of, “Have you ever
been tested?” and then the other person says, “Of course I have.
I’m totally clean.” In reality, you don’t know unless the person shows
you test results! And believe me, people lie about it. Some even go
so far as to lie when they know they do have an STD. A model is
suing her rich ex after discovering she had herpes, which she
believes he gave her.
4. You’re the best lover I’ve ever had. Might be true. But if
not, you’ll say it anyway.
5. You’re the first lover I’ve ever had. Not everyone lies about
this, but some do for some strange reason.
6. Sorry, got my period. One of those sneaky little fallback lies
women rely on when they’re not in the mood. Some guys don’t care
and will grab you anyway, but enough do get skeeved that it can be
reliably used as an avoidance tactic.
7. Nope, not on my period. For the lady who wants some nookie
but is afraid her menses-sensitive guy won’t comply if he knows
she’s flowin’, she can just do a clean up and act like she doesn’t have
it. By the end of the period, should be good for 15 minutes at least.
If she leaks, she can be all, “Oh my goodness, I didn’t realize!”
8. I never fantasize about anyone else. Right.
9. I never self service. Okaaaay.
10. I love giving blowjobs. Usually said in the courtship period.
11. Your man-hood is huuuuge!
12. It tastes great.
13. You smell great.
14. That feels great. Yeah, even when he’s pinching your
bosoms like a toddler death-gripping a favorite toy.
15. Number of s*x partners. Guys inflate. Girls forget.
Have you ever told a s*x lie? And do you agree with this?
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