10 dumbest things that will get you laid

”What a lovely dinner we’re having! I do hope we have sex for dessert. I mean, I hope we have a lightly-baked cake made with egg yolks and beaten egg whites combined with various other ingredients. Ahem.” 1. Bonding over a shared childhood memory “You remember Fraggle Rock? I remember Fraggle Rock! Let’s take our clothes off!” 2. Buying bodega flowers “I guess it’s a little weird that you were willing to have sex with me just because I bought you these horrible $2.99 flowers from a store that also sells beef jerky, but hey — I’m not choosy either!” 3. Having hometowns the other has heard of “You’re from the vast region known as upstate New York? Me too! Do I still have to talk to you or are we all good?” 4. You both have similar careers “You work in retail TOO? Ka-ching! Now let’s get down to business.” 5. Shared love for a TV show “What are the odds we both love 30 Rock? I mean, that show is pretty indie. Wanna come back to my place?” 6. Buying someone a drink “Hey, pretty girl. Can I buy you a well drink so that you will talk to me and ideally get naked later simply because I spent $5 on you?” 7. Being drunk “I am so wasted right now I may fall off this bar stool! Hahahaha. Let’s have sex before we regain any impulse control.” 8. Taking someone to dinner “What a lovely dinner we’re having! I do hope we have sex for dessert. I mean, I hope we have a lightly-baked cake made with egg yolks and beaten egg whites combined with various other ingredients. Ahem.” 9. Drugstore Chocolates “Happy Valentine’s, Day, honey! Here’s a box full of sugar and artificial flavoring that could strip a carburetor of its oil. Let’s do it before you ingest this cocoa butter calorie bomb, shall we?” 10. Negging: Being mean to make her think she can’t do better What are you doing later? Whatever, you’re not even all that. Good luck finding anyone who’ll want to hit that booty. OK did it work? Wanna have sex with me now?” ———