It’s Your Mouth That Is Stopping You From Getting Laid!

So, it’s not news that guys and chicks speak in two different languages. Males have been conditioned to communicate with each other in a more competitive way than women have. It’s normal for guys to insult themselves and call each other the worst names in the book and still laugh and shake hands about it. And there is absolutely no beef there. It is our own way of saying the other guy is cool. But with women, it is different. When they bond, they express their similarities, not the things that set them apart. When they insult each other, they insult each other for real and there’s no play there. Men and women are rarely on the same page and to get both sexes working together, each side has to learn to communicate with the other. And this is where we guys have problems. We always talk to chicks like we’re talking to ourselves. It is not cool to throw in a playful insult to a girl whose pants you want to get into. No, bruh. Not cool. You’ll die of blue balls if you keep doing that. Check out this conversation between girls. “I love your shoes, Amy.” “Awww, thank you.” “Where did you get them?” “You won’t believe. It’s that woman that comes to the hostel to sell stuff. She has some nice things.” “I won’t mind buying o. I really like yours.” “Awww, thank you.” Did you notice the conversation? It’s all sweetness. No insultive words. No harshness. But check these two guys. “Guy, na wa for you o, you just dey feel like Ramsy Nouah these days. Where you borrow dis akpola from sef?” “Na one guy dey sell am for Block D.” “E no even fit you sef.” “Ehn, thank you.” “But i no go mind borrow am go see dat babe dis evening.” “Your papa! You no fit buy your own?” And that’s guys for you. So, in order to communicate with a chick, you just have to turn on your sweet lips and find the right words that will take you all the way to her pants. Le comprende? You also have to understand that as a guy, you naturally like to tackle your issues quickly and just move on. But that’s not the same with a chick. She wants to talk! She wants to know the root of the problem and dig it from the grave and talk about it and maybe cry about it and open her heart to share her problem etc. You just have to be patient. And the reason is, she’s doing this to bond with you through her trials and tribulations. It might not be a conscious effort; that’s just the way she is wired. But you’re not there for long talk. You’re there to get down and dirty. And you can still do so with the things you say to her. But how? Let me tell you the things girls want to hear that can land you in bed with them: 1. Your Screwups I don’t mean you should go yarning about all the bad things you’ve done in life. Start by bringing up a short story of some nonsense you did quite recently. The best would be something you did to hurt her but if you haven’t done so yet, tell her about something else. Say this: “I screwed up and I need to hear your thoughts on it.” Because women always fancy themselves problem solvers, you just activated her “awww, come and take a hug” side. And that’s a good one. You’re almost there. 2. The Things No One Sees We are hard-wired to notice boobs and ass but dude, there’s more to her and if you keep complimenting only her front and back, you’re telling her all you want is sex. Of course, all you want is sex but she doesn’t have to know that; she’s tired of hearing that so many other guys. Be unique; tell her those little things no one sees, like the birthmark on her arm or the way her eyes turn funny when she drinks water or her change of perfume. When you do this, you have peeled off a layer of her clothes. 3. Your Nobility Chicks are attracted to altruistic guys, so you have to tell her something noble you have done. Or haven’t you ever been a knight in shinning armor in your life before? Yeah, you have to tell her how you saved your neighbor’s kids from a fire or how you helped some woman to the hospital after some bike knocked her off. Abeg, no lie for Africa because chicks know when you lie. If you must lie sha, make sure never to get caught. 4. The Children in Your Life If you have nephews, nieces, little cousins, talk about them lovingly. You want to hear her say “awww”. It might make her more open to be seduced. What you’re telling her is that you have a place for children in the future because trust me, chicks think about pregnancy, marriage, family and all that stuff all the freaking time. 5. Sex Who says chicks don’t always want sex? They do but you see, they don’t want to talk about it with guys because well, we sometimes don’t know how to go about the topic. We always go straight to the point. And chicks don’t think in a straight line. they dilly-dally. So, to get her mind onto sex, you have to talk about it a roundabout way so that she’ll notice what you’re doing immediately. If she loves novels, talk about a book that has a lot of romantic, steamy sex. First start with the characters, plot, etc, and then circle round till you get to the sex scenes. Or you could just go watch Half of a Yellow Sun that has sex in it and wow her with the movie. 6. Silence Yes, chicks like guys to communicate with them a lot but sometimes, I think you should be silent and just…listen. And when you listen, keep your eyes on her, show interest but once in a while, let her know that you’re doing more than listening. Cut her off at some point and say “I’m sorry to interrupt you but I love the way your lips move when you say ‘no’… but continue. You were talking about how your mom woke you up by five?” She will blush and appreciate that you were actually listening. The key to getting into her pants with words is choosing the right thing to say. Remember not to berate her. Adore her realistically. Girls can tell when you’re just being a sweet talker to get laid. And note that the most important thing is when she says no, she means no even if her body is saying yes. Take her by her words and chase her another day. You will realize that she will come after you, surprised that you didn’t push it because 90% of guys push until they get what they want. One last thing.Never use your lips to beg for sex.